When I was 21, I decided to get breast implants. At the time, it felt like a rite of passage. An upgrade. A ticket into feeling more “womanly”, more desirable, more confident. I was 5’1” (I mean I still am), a natural 32B, and I opted for 325cc silicone implants in a moderate profile, which brought me to a whopping 32DD. For the first few years, I thought they looked great. My reflection in the mirror matched the version of femininity I thought I was supposed to embody: fuller, perkier, “better” 

But here’s the truth: I regret it. 

The Shifting Idea of the “Perfect” Body 

In the early 2000s and the 2010s, the cultural obsession leaned heavily toward curves. Think Victoria’s Secret Angels with their push-up bras, the Kardashians redefining proportions, and the media constantly telling us how to “get the body you want”. Small chests were framed as less feminine; implants were normalized. Social Media amplified this with the implications of comparisons to what other women looked like. 

Fast forward to today and the narrative has shifted. Minimalism and natural silhouettes are celebrated. Social media now highlights braless confidence, body positivity, and diversity in shapes and sizes. What once felt like a necessary upgrade now feels optional, highlighting just how much trends and cultural pressures can influence our choices. Had this culture existed before, I highly doubt I would’ve gone through with my breast augmentation.

The Reality of Living With Implants 

At first, I convinced myself I was happy. My boobs were fun, perky, and everything I thought I wanted. But much of that was cognitive dissonance. I was essentially gaslighting myself into believing it was worth it. 

As time went on, reality sunk in. My implants began to droop quickly. I developed chronic back and shoulder pain from the weight, especially in my traps. Shopping for clothes became frustrating; I felt “top-heavy” in almost everything. Bikinis, which I used to love, became uncomfortable. And as a side/stomach sleeper, lying down with that much weight pressing into me was difficult. 

In the end, the inconveniences far outweighed any fleeting boost in confidence. 

Lessons in Hindsight 

If I could go back, I’d either get them smaller or simply not do it at all. But hindsight is always 20/20 and I try not to be too hard on my younger self. At the time, I was doing what so many of us do: chasing a beauty standard I thought would bring me happiness. 

Not all was lost, though. My experience inspired me to start onion. I wanted to create bras and underwear that work with women’s bodies, not against them. A celebration of comfort and authenticity rather than a performance of perfection. 

Beauty Standards Will Always Change 

That’s the biggest lesson I’ve learned: beauty standards are fluid. Hey, I’d even bet money on breast implants being trendy again one day. 

Beauty standards rise and fall with each generation, shaped by media, social platforms, and cultural trends. They can make us question ourselves. But the most liberating beauty standard is the one you create for yourself. 

So here’s my unsolicited advice: before doing anything permanent to your body, just pause. Ask yourself if this decision is truly for you, or if it’s for a beauty standard that might change tomorrow. The truth is, we are often our own harshest critics–and more often than not, we are already enough just as we are. 

I may regret my boob job, but I don’t regret what it taught me: that real confidence comes from self-acceptance, not conforming to someone else’s ideal. 

xx Elaine